Disciplining children might be difficult because they often make their parents angry and they end up beating them. Some parents don’t want to make their children wicked and end up not correcting them for any mistakes, thereby spoiling them. But is there a way to raise righteous children without beating and pampering them?
Yes! There is a way. In this article, you will get advice on how to train your children without beating and pampering them.
Praise be to Allah. Who has put the duties of raising and educating children on their parents?
Similarly, Allaah has enjoined that in the Qur’an, and also the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Allaah says:
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded” [al-Tahreem 66:6]
Teach them Religious Commitment And Goodness
In Tafseer al-Tabari (18/165) Imam al-Tabari said, commenting on this verse:
Here Allaah is saying: O you who believe in Allaah and His Messenger, “Ward off yourselves” teach one another that which will protect those who do it from the Fire and ward it off from them, if it is done in obedience to Allaah and they do it in obedience to Allaah.
The phrase “and your families against a Fire” means, and teach your families to do acts of obedience to Allaah so that they may protect themselves from the Fire.
Parents have to teach their children and families, religious commitment and goodness and telling than what they cannot do without etiquette. Allah says:
“And enjoin As-Salaat (the prayer) on your family, and be patient in offering them [the Salaat]” [Ta-Ha 20:132]
Prophet (PBUH) said:
“And teach them (children) to pray when they are seven years old.”
Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 18/196
Every Parent Is A Propagator, Who Calls Their Children To Allaah
Being a Muslim means you are a daa’iyah (propagator)who calls people to Allah, however, the first people to call should be his children and family who are close to him.
As Allah said: “And warn your tribe (O Muhammad) of near kindred” [al-Shu’ara’ 26:214]
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar said:
I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say:
“Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock. A servant is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his flock.”
He said: and I think he said,
“A man is the shepherd of his father’s wealth and is responsible for his flock. Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 583; Muslim, 1829.
Make Them Love Allah, His Messenger And The Teachings Of Islam
To note, Part of your (as a parent) duty is to bring the children up from a young age to love Allah and His Messenger and to love the teachings of Islam. Tell them that Allah has a Paradise and a Hell; that His Hell is hot and its fuel is men and stones.
Ibn al-Jawzi said:
There was a king who had a lot of wealth, and he had a daughter and no other children. He loved her very much, and he used to let her enjoy all kinds of entertainment. This went on for a long time.
Beside the king there lived a devoted worshipper, and whilst he was reciting one night, he raised his voice saying,
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones “ [al-Tahreem 66:6].
The girl heard his recitation and said to her servants, “Stop!” But they did not stop. The worshipper started to repeat the verse, and the girl kept telling them to stop, but they did not stop.
She put her hands to her collar and tore her garment, and they went to her father and told him the story. He went to her and said,
“My dear, what happened to you tonight? What made you weep?” and he hugged her. She said, “I ask you by Allaah, O my father, to tell me, does Allaah have a Fire the fuel of which is men and stones?”
He said, “Yes.” She asked him, “Why did you not tell me? By Allaah, I will not eat any good food or sleep on any soft bed until I know whether my abode is in Paradise or Hell.”
Safwat al-Safwah, 4/437-438.
In conclusion, keep your children away from the places of immorality and misguidance; do not leave them to grow up with evil things from the television, remember that whoever planted maize can’t harvest date fruit. This is short advice on how to raise righteous children without beating and pampering them.
However, it will still be helpful, also don’t forget to look into the life of the prophet (PBUH) and learn how he trains his children.
Allah knows best and may He guide us to the right path.