The first etiquette of pregnancy in Islam, as advised by the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam is to keep it a secret.
Do not go around telling people you’re pregnant, let it grow for people to see by Allah’s grace.
This is seriously advised due to the Impact of Evil Eye and Shayaateen. These two are very real and more closely than you can ever imagine. If you must share the news then let it be to someone who is absolutely necessary for the person to be told at that early stage. SubhanAllah!! these days we are so eager to tell everyone who cares to listen that we are pregnant. You may carry your baby for full-term and deliver him safely but you find out a lot is wrong with his life and upbringing. But sometimes this has happened way before he/she was given birth to, because you shared the news with EVIL persons without you knowing.
The second etiquette is to be THANKFUL. In marriage, no matter the circumstances under which Allah has blessed you with pregnancy, accept it and bed thankful to Him. I’ve seen and heard people who say because they’re not ready they’ll go ahead and abort and the likes, The only condition under which abortion is allowed Islamically is when the life of the mother is threatened. And it has been unanimously agreed by Doctors that her life is at risk. Otherwise, any other reason is selfish and unacceptable.
The third etiquette is to follow the footsteps of Maryam ( Prophet Isa’s Mother) May the blessings of Allah be Upon them, anytime you find out that you’re pregnant, it is advisable for you to make an intention and make a covenant between you and Allah to dedicate your to be a child to his service with his help. Surah Al-Imran “Verse 35”, ( when the wife of ‘Imran said, “My Lord, indeed I have pledged to You what is in my womb, consecrated [for Your service], so accept this from me. Indeed, You are the Hearing, the Knowing). With this intention In sha Allah, Allah will help you to guide and grow the child in his service. And will create a strong bond between the child and his Lord.
The fourth etiquette which is by far the most important is when the Ruuh (Soul) enters your baby.
Doctors start looking for a heartbeat from 6 weeks. If one is not seen you’ll be said to be having a BLIGHTED OVUM medically.
Now, this is the most amazing part for me. The heart and the soul are two different creators of Allah. As much as you can see the baby on the screen of a scanning machine he does not have a soul yet. All he has is an organ called the heart but he doesn’t have a soul yet.
Allah in his Infinite kindness let us know when the SOUL will be breathed into our babies so we can do the needful. The SOUL is breathed into the baby at about 120 days when you’re 4 months pregnant. At exactly this time the angels are asked to write 4 things regarding the baby.
i. Deeds
ii. Livelihood
iii. Death
iv. Whether he’ll be blessed or wretched in religion.
When you’re about approaching this period, make constant dua seeking goodness and blessings of Allah on your baby. Tirelessly and consistently. You can as well inform your spouse to also help with such dua for your baby. In Sha Allah, Allah will listen and answer your Prayer.
Remember the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam told us prayers can change destiny, at this point the destiny of your child has not yet been written. With firm belief and sincerity, you can play a very big role in what is to come by the will and grace of Allah.
The fifth etiquette is when another wonderful blessing of Allah on us happens around the 20th week of your pregnancy. At about this time your baby can hear voices. This is a time to develop an exclusive bond with your baby by reciting the Qur’an loud and clear. The sound waves of your voice will reach your baby, this will help him/her to develop a bond with the Qur’an and Islam even before he comes to the world. At this stage, it is not the time for cursing, movies, and gossiping. It may seem like nothing to you but it has a lot to do with the life of your unborn child. You and your hubby can take turns to be reciting the Qur’an loud and clear to your baby, be persistent on that till his or her birth. This is one of the GREATEST GIFTS you can ever give to your child.
Lastly, try to read books on the Islamic way of raising children, try to ask reputable Sunny Scholars about Islamic Upbringing of children.
May Almighty Allah grant us all pious children.